When I was 5 years old, I had a birthday party. It was a sleepover party. My friend Mark came and as a gift, he gave me a big blue shoe pillow. He actually had the same pillow so it was sort of like we were best friends. Ironically, after that school year, I never saw Mark again. We went to different elementary schools and that was that.
However, Shoe (aka Mr. Shoe, aka Zapato), has been with me ever since. He was the perfect friend for a growing boy who liked to sleep. I took him everywhere with me. I once left him in St. Louis and had my great uncle ship him back to California. He went with me on Boy Scout campouts and church retreats. He went with me to college and always came back to California during breaks. He was the perfect size for sleeping and had a lip that was great for grabbing during a pillow fight. For most of my life, Shoe has been there for me.
Of course, we're talking about a piece of fabric filled with cotton so natural wear and tear was bound to occur. Years of constant companionship takes its toll on a pillow and more than once, Shoe had a tear here or lost a little bit of stuffing there. In the early years it was an easy enough fix. All it took was a little needle and thread and Shoe was as good as new. But, as the years wore on and the fabric got thinner and thinner, repairing Shoe became delicate business, and eventually impossible.
At one point I had the dream of giving shoe to my son so that he could have a friend just like I did for so many years. That dream ended in 2011 when I officially retired Shoe from active duty. He was losing too much stuffing each night and his fabric was too thin to repair.
The plan at that point was to send him off properly when I got married in 2012 but I couldn't force myself to do it. For the past few years, Shoe has been hanging out in my garage, enjoying retirement but also knowing that nothing could last forever.
Ezra finally gave me the strength I needed to say goodbye to Shoe. I knew I couldn't give Shoe to Ezra so it was time to say goodbye. On July 7, the day we brought Ezra home from the hospital, I cremated Shoe in our backyard fire pit. It was a tough goodbye but it was the right call.
I don't know if Ezra will ever end up with something like Shoe was for me. I'm sure some of it will depend on his personality. Either way, I'm glad that for the past 25 years, I had a friend who I could count on, even if it was just a big shoe shaped pillow.
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
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