Hello, friends!
Here's hoping you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Megan, Ezra, and I are up here in South Dakota visiting Megan's family for the week. The weather is cold but the food is delicious, so I don't mind so much.
I suppose this entry would have made sense to post a few days ago, BEFORE the actual holiday, but I wanted to make sure that all parts of my Mizzou Protest Super Blog were out, so this entry had to wait. If you've already moved on to Christmas, feel free to skip this post. I won't mind.
Right about now is when folk start thinking about how they're going to answer the quintessential Thanksgiving question, "What are you thankful for this year?" It's a good question because reflection and thankfulness are good habits to have. I've been trying to start my days thanking God for all of his goodness and it's helped me see more of the little things.
As I was reflecting, there were some obvious answers. I'm so thankful for Ezra and all the joy that he's brought into my life. I'm thankful for Megan for the same reason. I'm thankful that I have a job that I love, that we are never in want, that we have a family who loves and supports us, and, of course, I'm thankful for you, our ministry partners. Without your partnership, whether it be through prayer, advocacy, giving, or serving, we wouldn't be able to do the good work for the kingdom that we do. I'm definitely thankful for all of those things.
What struck me the most though, looking back on this year, is how thankful I am for the steps I've taken in my ethnic identity this year and the steps that I've taken on my journey towards understanding how racial reconciliation looks in the kingdom.
Don't get me wrong, it's been a really hard year in a lot of ways. About this time last year, the St. Louis County prosecutor announced that Officer Darren Wilson would not be charged in the killing of Michael Brown. Since then, we've seen protests in Baltimore, New York, Minneapolis, and even in Columbia, Missouri, all centered around systemic injustice and racism against people of color (particularly blacks) in the United States. People have been shot. Churches have been set on fire. Tempers have flared. It's been really hard but I am choosing to see it as a step in the right direction, thus, I am thankful for it.
One person I know made the point that these things are all actually bad things. He said that racial tensions only got higher since Ferguson and that racial tension is a bad thing. Ergo, the protests and such are a bad thing. I would have to disagree.
It would be naive at best or willfully ignorant at worst, to say that race relations were better "back in the day" (however you define that term). Racism has been a part of the fabric of the United States literally since the beginning, when blacks were only counted as 3/5 of a person when determining state's representation in congress. In the history of our great nation, a war had to be fought over whether or not one people could continue to enslave another. Dogs and firehoses were set on men and women who had the audacity to believe that they had a right to vote. The American church even has a history of using the bible to support racism, or at least be silent about it. Racism and oppression of minorities is part of our history.
To say that things were better back in the day because there wasn't as much protesting or fewer conversations about race is to take the position that no news is good news. In fact, the protests of the past year are proof of movement in the right direction. How can we move forward as a country or as individuals if we don't know what's wrong? We need these voices crying out to remind us that we have not yet arrived and that we still have a ways to go. Without them, the majority will believe that everything is awesome and minorities will continue to feel like outsiders in their own country.
I'm thankful for the past year because it has allowed me to have conversations that I would not have thought to have otherwise. I've been able to see my own biases and prejudices as a Chinese American man. I've been able to reconcile with some of my Black brothers and sisters who I did not even know I had wronged. I've had great (albeit hard) conversations with students, coworkers, family, and members of the community about what it's like to be a minority in a predominantly White community like Columbia. I've been able to shape my own theology about racial reconciliation and the role that the Asian American community has to play in bridging the racial divide in our country. I'm thankful for the people who have had conversations with me and helped me process. I'm thankful for the people who have listened and entered conversation with me with a posture of learning and not of condemnation. I'm thankful for people who have called me out for my sins and who have been receptive when I do the same. I'm thankful that this is a conversation that can happen out in the open, instead of behind closed doors in hushed voices. I'm thankful that we are actually seeing change.
An analogy that has been helping me process this past year has been that of cleaning my desk. Every few months or so, I need to clean my desk. The first step is to take out everything and lay it all bare so I can see what I need to keep and what I can pitch. After step one, the space actually looks WORSE than before, not better. But, without step one, I can't actually get my space to where it needs to be.
Friends, this is like step one of desk cleaning. Right now all of our junk is being laid out in the open so we can see what should stay and what should go. It looks terrible but it's necessary in order for us to move forward. I'm thankful for the opportunity to move forward with you.
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
Friday, November 27, 2015
Monday, November 16, 2015
The Mizzou Protest Super Blog!
Hello, friends!
It's been quite a few weeks in Columbia, that's for sure. A lot of stuff has happened and I've had to process a lot of it. I thought I would share some of my thoughts with you.
Like some of my previous super blogs, this is the home page. From here, you can get to any of the other posts that I've written (8 in all). The topics vary, which is why they each get their own post. Read one or read them all, it's ok with me. Some of them will be funnier than others. Some may be more polarizing than others. Just know that my intention is what it always has been. I want to make sure that I am being transparent in my ministry, so you always know what's happening.
What InterVarsity's Done in Columbia
Wednesday
How My Hat Cost InterVarsity $650
When It Rains, It Pours
Jesus and Activism
Finding Your Niche in Activism
Hard Conversations
On Facebook
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
It's been quite a few weeks in Columbia, that's for sure. A lot of stuff has happened and I've had to process a lot of it. I thought I would share some of my thoughts with you.
Like some of my previous super blogs, this is the home page. From here, you can get to any of the other posts that I've written (8 in all). The topics vary, which is why they each get their own post. Read one or read them all, it's ok with me. Some of them will be funnier than others. Some may be more polarizing than others. Just know that my intention is what it always has been. I want to make sure that I am being transparent in my ministry, so you always know what's happening.
What InterVarsity's Done in Columbia
Wednesday
How My Hat Cost InterVarsity $650
When It Rains, It Pours
Jesus and Activism
Finding Your Niche in Activism
Hard Conversations
On Facebook
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
Friday, November 6, 2015
The Evolution of Spiritual Formation...
Hello, friends!
As you're reading this, Megan and I are on our way or already at our staff spiritual formation retreat. Once a semester, all of the staff in Missouri get together to connect with God, connect with each other, and be filled up so we can keep doing the work that we have been called to do. I've been going to these spiritual formation retreats for a number of years now and it's been really interesting to see how much my thoughts on them have evolved.
The Early Years: When I was first starting out, I absolutely loved spiritual formation retreats but probably for the wrong reasons. These retreats weren't about connecting with God (although that sometimes happened). It was about hanging out with my staff friends, playing Settlers of Catan, and getting in a good nap or two. Those retreats were refreshing but not in a spiritual sense as much as in a physical and relational sense. Sometimes God spoke to me and sometimes he didn't. That didn't matter to me nearly as much as making sure that I slept as much as possible, ate as much as possible, and played as much as possible.
The Middle Years: Once I got past the point where my staff work was based on my natural abilities and actually started to become work (apparently, charisma only gets you so far...) these spiritual formation retreats really became a burden more than anything else. I still enjoyed the fellowship and such but since I felt like I was struggling more in my staff work, time away for these times felt like an extra burden. Why should I be getting away for a few days when there is so much work to be done on campus! Again, there were often times when the LORD spoke to me and Jesus did some really good stuff. One of my favorite memories was watching Game 6 of the 2011 World Series as a staff team at one formation retreat. Still, looking back, I wish I'd seen more of the value from a staff work perspective.
The Now Years: I've found that my early and middle years of staff have now brought me to a place of better appreciation for these times away. The fun and games are still there but to a lesser extent than before as I've gotten older and generally less willing to stay up past 10pm. I've learned that the spiritual aspect of our work cannot be ignored and that these times actually make my time on campus better and more effective. I still eat well and hang out with other staff but those things aren't the end all of our time together. I am genuinely excited to hear from the LORD today.
Friends, please be praying for us as we prepare to engage in spiritual formation. Pray the God will meet us where we are and that he will be present in everything that happens today.
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
As you're reading this, Megan and I are on our way or already at our staff spiritual formation retreat. Once a semester, all of the staff in Missouri get together to connect with God, connect with each other, and be filled up so we can keep doing the work that we have been called to do. I've been going to these spiritual formation retreats for a number of years now and it's been really interesting to see how much my thoughts on them have evolved.
The Early Years: When I was first starting out, I absolutely loved spiritual formation retreats but probably for the wrong reasons. These retreats weren't about connecting with God (although that sometimes happened). It was about hanging out with my staff friends, playing Settlers of Catan, and getting in a good nap or two. Those retreats were refreshing but not in a spiritual sense as much as in a physical and relational sense. Sometimes God spoke to me and sometimes he didn't. That didn't matter to me nearly as much as making sure that I slept as much as possible, ate as much as possible, and played as much as possible.
The Middle Years: Once I got past the point where my staff work was based on my natural abilities and actually started to become work (apparently, charisma only gets you so far...) these spiritual formation retreats really became a burden more than anything else. I still enjoyed the fellowship and such but since I felt like I was struggling more in my staff work, time away for these times felt like an extra burden. Why should I be getting away for a few days when there is so much work to be done on campus! Again, there were often times when the LORD spoke to me and Jesus did some really good stuff. One of my favorite memories was watching Game 6 of the 2011 World Series as a staff team at one formation retreat. Still, looking back, I wish I'd seen more of the value from a staff work perspective.
The Now Years: I've found that my early and middle years of staff have now brought me to a place of better appreciation for these times away. The fun and games are still there but to a lesser extent than before as I've gotten older and generally less willing to stay up past 10pm. I've learned that the spiritual aspect of our work cannot be ignored and that these times actually make my time on campus better and more effective. I still eat well and hang out with other staff but those things aren't the end all of our time together. I am genuinely excited to hear from the LORD today.
Friends, please be praying for us as we prepare to engage in spiritual formation. Pray the God will meet us where we are and that he will be present in everything that happens today.
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
Sunday, November 1, 2015
What InterVarsity's Done in Columbia
Hello, friends!
There are so many different articles that have already been written about what has already gone down in Columbia that rehashing those events probably wouldn't actually be very helpful. What I want to do instead is focus on what we as an InterVarsity staff team have done this past week, to give you a little glimpse into our lives. Our staff team includes 3 paid staff, 1 intern, and a handful of some of the most caring and dedicated volunteers you will ever meet. It has always been an honor to work alongside these men and women but especially this past week.
Monday: Megan led a staff team meeting so our staff team (most of whom are ethnic minorities) could process together and pray about how we wanted to engage with the campus. By her account, it was a really humbling time as staff shared stories about their encounters with prejudice and racism in Columbia and as the team prayed about how to proceed well. Unfortunately, I wasn't there, but I'm so glad to have a great partner in life and in staff like Megan.
Tuesday: ACF and ICF held a joint meeting to process, pray, and visit the tent city that had been set up on campus to offer to pray for and process with the students who were staying there. (Note: This effort was short lived because the threats of violence against Black students happened Tuesday night and the tent city was cleared out for safety reasons). Ezra was sick so Megan stayed home but Matti, our ACF lead volunteer led the time.
Wednesday: Wednesday was a day... I have a special post about Wednesday all by itself.
Thursday: Columbia College students gathered to process what had been happening at Mizzou. Charis, the Columbia College staff is working with administrators to have a race dialogue on campus after the Thanksgiving Break. Also, at Mizzou, Meg led ACF and ICF students in an interactive display, giving Mizzou students an opportunity to process what they're feeling about what's been happening on campus.
There are so many different articles that have already been written about what has already gone down in Columbia that rehashing those events probably wouldn't actually be very helpful. What I want to do instead is focus on what we as an InterVarsity staff team have done this past week, to give you a little glimpse into our lives. Our staff team includes 3 paid staff, 1 intern, and a handful of some of the most caring and dedicated volunteers you will ever meet. It has always been an honor to work alongside these men and women but especially this past week.
Monday: Megan led a staff team meeting so our staff team (most of whom are ethnic minorities) could process together and pray about how we wanted to engage with the campus. By her account, it was a really humbling time as staff shared stories about their encounters with prejudice and racism in Columbia and as the team prayed about how to proceed well. Unfortunately, I wasn't there, but I'm so glad to have a great partner in life and in staff like Megan.
Tuesday: ACF and ICF held a joint meeting to process, pray, and visit the tent city that had been set up on campus to offer to pray for and process with the students who were staying there. (Note: This effort was short lived because the threats of violence against Black students happened Tuesday night and the tent city was cleared out for safety reasons). Ezra was sick so Megan stayed home but Matti, our ACF lead volunteer led the time.
Wednesday: Wednesday was a day... I have a special post about Wednesday all by itself.
Thursday: Columbia College students gathered to process what had been happening at Mizzou. Charis, the Columbia College staff is working with administrators to have a race dialogue on campus after the Thanksgiving Break. Also, at Mizzou, Meg led ACF and ICF students in an interactive display, giving Mizzou students an opportunity to process what they're feeling about what's been happening on campus.
In some ways, it doesn't feel like much. We've prayed for some folk, helped a few folk process, and bought a few meals. On the other hand, it's been such a blessing to see students be blessed. This is why we do the work that we do. These are hard weeks but these are also the weeks where we really get to see God move in powerful ways in us and through us.
Have an excellent day!
Jesus and Activism...
Hello, friends!
The past week or so, I've heard a lot of people make the argument in terms of the protests that Jesus wouldn't do things this way. Jesus wouldn't protest because his kingdom was a kingdom of kindness and love, not a political kingdom.
While I agree that Jesus' kingdom is not one of political structures and is based on the love and goodness that God is, I have to disagree with the notion that Jesus is anti-protest. I actually see our God as a God of activism. Here are a few examples:
- In both Mark 11 and John 2, Jesus clears the temple, flipping tables and making a whip. His target were the money changers and their unjust practices of charging foreigners more than was fair.
- In Ezekiel 16:49-50, Ezekiel says that the sin of Sodom was that it was overfed with no concern for the poor and needy. Instead of flipping tables, God straight set the whole place on fire.
- One could make the same case about the flood (Genesis 6) and the Egyptians (starting in Exodus 5), that these were acts of God as a way of protesting the injustices done against his people.
- Many, if not all, of the prophets in the old testament talk about how our God desires justice and mercy and that his people should pursue the same.
- In Acts 6, the Hellenistic Jews protest their unfair treatment, leading to an entirely new system and new leadership in the distribution of resources.
Personally, I don't see any way that you could NOT see our God as a God of activism but that's just me. I have a bigger problem on my hands.
See, here's what I believe is missing from a lot of activism today. The activism of the Bible, real, godly activism, actually points people towards Christ. In the case of the prophets, the injustice they saw was an affront to God. Jesus called out injustice that took away from worship. Our God is a God of justice and when we fight for justice, we actually need to be pointing people towards God as well. This is an area that I think is actually easier said than done but I believe it is a cause worth pursuing.
Friends, I don't want to make this a political argument. You can believe one thing or you can believe another. You can protest or not. You can be an activist or fight for things as they are. My one prayer for you, as well as for me, is that whatever side you end up on, you are actually pointing people towards the real, radical, life changing, Jesus.
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
BACK HOME
The past week or so, I've heard a lot of people make the argument in terms of the protests that Jesus wouldn't do things this way. Jesus wouldn't protest because his kingdom was a kingdom of kindness and love, not a political kingdom.
While I agree that Jesus' kingdom is not one of political structures and is based on the love and goodness that God is, I have to disagree with the notion that Jesus is anti-protest. I actually see our God as a God of activism. Here are a few examples:
- In both Mark 11 and John 2, Jesus clears the temple, flipping tables and making a whip. His target were the money changers and their unjust practices of charging foreigners more than was fair.
- In Ezekiel 16:49-50, Ezekiel says that the sin of Sodom was that it was overfed with no concern for the poor and needy. Instead of flipping tables, God straight set the whole place on fire.
- One could make the same case about the flood (Genesis 6) and the Egyptians (starting in Exodus 5), that these were acts of God as a way of protesting the injustices done against his people.
- Many, if not all, of the prophets in the old testament talk about how our God desires justice and mercy and that his people should pursue the same.
- In Acts 6, the Hellenistic Jews protest their unfair treatment, leading to an entirely new system and new leadership in the distribution of resources.
Personally, I don't see any way that you could NOT see our God as a God of activism but that's just me. I have a bigger problem on my hands.
See, here's what I believe is missing from a lot of activism today. The activism of the Bible, real, godly activism, actually points people towards Christ. In the case of the prophets, the injustice they saw was an affront to God. Jesus called out injustice that took away from worship. Our God is a God of justice and when we fight for justice, we actually need to be pointing people towards God as well. This is an area that I think is actually easier said than done but I believe it is a cause worth pursuing.
Friends, I don't want to make this a political argument. You can believe one thing or you can believe another. You can protest or not. You can be an activist or fight for things as they are. My one prayer for you, as well as for me, is that whatever side you end up on, you are actually pointing people towards the real, radical, life changing, Jesus.
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
BACK HOME
Finding Your Niche in Activism...
Hello, friends!
I was talking to a coworker of mind the other day about what's been happening in Columbia and he asked me a question:
"If the Asian American Association (AAA) at Mizzou came up to you and asked you how they should engage in supporting the Black community, what would you tell them?"
My answer was simple: "Do what you have been created to do."
I think that one of the problems that Asian Americans have when it comes to activism is that we believe that activism looks a certain way and that we aren't made in that image. When we think of activism, we often think of yelling, holding signs, marching, and generally being on the front lines (Note: I would argue that most people think this way). The problem is that for many Asian Americans, this isn't us. We've been brought up with a high value for harmony so any disagreement is a bad disagreement. The idea of putting ourselves out there makes us more afraid than anything else.
So, what is an Asian American to do? Well, I say that we do what we've been created to do. While we may not be gifted in the traditional methods of activism, we still have a role to play if we want. You know what we do well? We do hospitality really well. I mean REALLY well. It's how God has made us and we can use that gift for the kingdom.
Let me give you an example. Students created a tent city on campus in an act of solidarity with Jonathan Butler, the student who was on a hunger strike. That is a pretty bold move on everyone's part. As Asian American may not feel like it is his or her place to insert themselves into the tent city. But you know what we CAN do well? We can bring blankets and hot chocolate. We can engage in conversation with those who are there. We can make sure that there is enough light so folk can study and that people have pillows. We can show off our gift of hospitality like the bosses we are.
How does that lead to activism? Well, I think it does a number of things. I think it shows the students who are on the front line that they are not alone. I believe it gives strength so that those students can go for a little longer and a little further. I think it is a comfort for people to know that someone is helping them carry the burdens of LIFE, as well as the cause. I think it builds relationship.
So, to my brothers and sisters who believe that there's something to be done but don't know what it is, I humbly suggest that you pray and ask God this question: What have you created me to do? From there, you may find the answers you seek.
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
BACK HOME
I was talking to a coworker of mind the other day about what's been happening in Columbia and he asked me a question:
"If the Asian American Association (AAA) at Mizzou came up to you and asked you how they should engage in supporting the Black community, what would you tell them?"
My answer was simple: "Do what you have been created to do."
I think that one of the problems that Asian Americans have when it comes to activism is that we believe that activism looks a certain way and that we aren't made in that image. When we think of activism, we often think of yelling, holding signs, marching, and generally being on the front lines (Note: I would argue that most people think this way). The problem is that for many Asian Americans, this isn't us. We've been brought up with a high value for harmony so any disagreement is a bad disagreement. The idea of putting ourselves out there makes us more afraid than anything else.
So, what is an Asian American to do? Well, I say that we do what we've been created to do. While we may not be gifted in the traditional methods of activism, we still have a role to play if we want. You know what we do well? We do hospitality really well. I mean REALLY well. It's how God has made us and we can use that gift for the kingdom.
Let me give you an example. Students created a tent city on campus in an act of solidarity with Jonathan Butler, the student who was on a hunger strike. That is a pretty bold move on everyone's part. As Asian American may not feel like it is his or her place to insert themselves into the tent city. But you know what we CAN do well? We can bring blankets and hot chocolate. We can engage in conversation with those who are there. We can make sure that there is enough light so folk can study and that people have pillows. We can show off our gift of hospitality like the bosses we are.
How does that lead to activism? Well, I think it does a number of things. I think it shows the students who are on the front line that they are not alone. I believe it gives strength so that those students can go for a little longer and a little further. I think it is a comfort for people to know that someone is helping them carry the burdens of LIFE, as well as the cause. I think it builds relationship.
So, to my brothers and sisters who believe that there's something to be done but don't know what it is, I humbly suggest that you pray and ask God this question: What have you created me to do? From there, you may find the answers you seek.
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
BACK HOME
On Facebook...
Hello, friends!
Our pastor on Sunday gave a sermon about what's been happening in Columbia and how the church (both the local church and the Church) should respond. In one little spot he said that this sermon didn't fit into a 4 point sermon but if he had to try, he'd say that the 4 points were this:
- Seek empathy
- Be positive
- Engage in a conversation with someone who is different from you
- Get off Facebook
He was joking but I think I know where he was going with that last point. There have been a lot of conflicts that have happened only in cyberspace because of a Facebook post taken the wrong way. A lot of conflict could probably be avoided if we just all stayed away.
Here's the thing though. I believe that Facebook is a place where we can actually have an impact in a positive way if we do it well. I don't claim to be an expert in Facebook but I am someone who likes to fight, so in my vast experience of getting into conflict via Facebook, I've learned a thing or two.
So, without further ado: here's my guide to fighting well on Facebook:
1) DON'T THINK TOO HIGHLY OF YOURSELF. How Facebook conflicts usually happen is that someone sees something they don't agree with so they post a response to refute whatever was said. In some ways, that's exactly what Facebook was designed to do. The problem comes when people take original posts as personal attacks. Here's the honest truth. Whoever posted that thing that you didn't like, probably didn't have you in mind when they posted it. You're almost certainly not that important. Remember that may stop you from getting into unnecessary fights with folk you met at that camp that one time.
2) COUNT THE RELATIONAL COST. This is related to the first point but let's say that someone posts something that deep hurts or offends you. You have a decision as to whether to engage in conversation or not. My rule of thumb is to think about what the relational cost is to NOT engage. If it's that dude I met at that camp one time and I'll never see them again, there's high cost to engage but low cost to not engage. I'm not going to engage. However, If it's someone who I talk to on a regular basis and have real relationship with, NOT engaging is very costly (in terms of awkwardness and broken trust). In that case, I should probably hop in.
3) 'TIS BETTER TO DEFEND THAN ATTACK. There are times when it is obvious that you need to comment because someone is saying something that is actually doing a lot of harm. However, usually posts go away unless someone responds, so attacking/responding actually gives more fuel to the fire. I'm a much bigger fan of letting attacks go but defending like crazy when someone comments on my stuff. Basically, I'm not going to go after you but if you come after me, get ready to rumble.
4) REMEMBER THAT TEXT BASED COMMUNICATION IS INCOMPLETE. It's hard but do your best to avoid reading too much into the tone or tenor or someone's comments. A lot of times, we read too much into things because we're emotionally charged. Usually, if they're actually a friend of yours (as opposed to the comment section of an online article where no one knows each other) they do not mean malicious intent.
5) SET THE EXAMPLE OF HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED. If you desire empathy, make sure your posts show empathy. If you desire kindness, show the same. If you are asking for logic or evidence, make sure you have your own stuff together. It's a great way to show the world that you're not a crazy person yelling at another crazy person.
6) TRY TO ENGAGE IN REAL LIFE. Seriously. I say offer to get coffee or something if it's possible to do so. It works on a number of levels. It shows a desire for community. It may deepen friendship. Sometimes it even gets the person to stop talking because they're afraid of face-to-face conflict. It really works pretty well. =0).
7) DON'T TRY TO SAVE THE WORLD. It's ok to disengage. It's ok to take a break. You're not a coward, a loser, or a weakling. You're probably just tired. Facebook, for all it's blessings, isn't quite real life. =0).
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
BACK HOME
Our pastor on Sunday gave a sermon about what's been happening in Columbia and how the church (both the local church and the Church) should respond. In one little spot he said that this sermon didn't fit into a 4 point sermon but if he had to try, he'd say that the 4 points were this:
- Seek empathy
- Be positive
- Engage in a conversation with someone who is different from you
- Get off Facebook
He was joking but I think I know where he was going with that last point. There have been a lot of conflicts that have happened only in cyberspace because of a Facebook post taken the wrong way. A lot of conflict could probably be avoided if we just all stayed away.
Here's the thing though. I believe that Facebook is a place where we can actually have an impact in a positive way if we do it well. I don't claim to be an expert in Facebook but I am someone who likes to fight, so in my vast experience of getting into conflict via Facebook, I've learned a thing or two.
So, without further ado: here's my guide to fighting well on Facebook:
1) DON'T THINK TOO HIGHLY OF YOURSELF. How Facebook conflicts usually happen is that someone sees something they don't agree with so they post a response to refute whatever was said. In some ways, that's exactly what Facebook was designed to do. The problem comes when people take original posts as personal attacks. Here's the honest truth. Whoever posted that thing that you didn't like, probably didn't have you in mind when they posted it. You're almost certainly not that important. Remember that may stop you from getting into unnecessary fights with folk you met at that camp that one time.
2) COUNT THE RELATIONAL COST. This is related to the first point but let's say that someone posts something that deep hurts or offends you. You have a decision as to whether to engage in conversation or not. My rule of thumb is to think about what the relational cost is to NOT engage. If it's that dude I met at that camp one time and I'll never see them again, there's high cost to engage but low cost to not engage. I'm not going to engage. However, If it's someone who I talk to on a regular basis and have real relationship with, NOT engaging is very costly (in terms of awkwardness and broken trust). In that case, I should probably hop in.
3) 'TIS BETTER TO DEFEND THAN ATTACK. There are times when it is obvious that you need to comment because someone is saying something that is actually doing a lot of harm. However, usually posts go away unless someone responds, so attacking/responding actually gives more fuel to the fire. I'm a much bigger fan of letting attacks go but defending like crazy when someone comments on my stuff. Basically, I'm not going to go after you but if you come after me, get ready to rumble.
4) REMEMBER THAT TEXT BASED COMMUNICATION IS INCOMPLETE. It's hard but do your best to avoid reading too much into the tone or tenor or someone's comments. A lot of times, we read too much into things because we're emotionally charged. Usually, if they're actually a friend of yours (as opposed to the comment section of an online article where no one knows each other) they do not mean malicious intent.
5) SET THE EXAMPLE OF HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED. If you desire empathy, make sure your posts show empathy. If you desire kindness, show the same. If you are asking for logic or evidence, make sure you have your own stuff together. It's a great way to show the world that you're not a crazy person yelling at another crazy person.
6) TRY TO ENGAGE IN REAL LIFE. Seriously. I say offer to get coffee or something if it's possible to do so. It works on a number of levels. It shows a desire for community. It may deepen friendship. Sometimes it even gets the person to stop talking because they're afraid of face-to-face conflict. It really works pretty well. =0).
7) DON'T TRY TO SAVE THE WORLD. It's ok to disengage. It's ok to take a break. You're not a coward, a loser, or a weakling. You're probably just tired. Facebook, for all it's blessings, isn't quite real life. =0).
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
BACK HOME
Hard Conversations...
Hello, friends!
Friends, here's the deal: sometimes people disagree. Sometimes we have different opinions on things. Sometimes stuff is said and emotions get involved. When race, racism, privilege, and justice get involved, then things get even harder.
This past week has been a week of really hard conversations. There have been conversations with students who have been the victims of racism and who don't understand how anyone can deny its existence. There have been conversations with students who don't know what their role is supposed to be in all of this and are searching for guidance and answers. There have been conversations with member of the community who don't understand why there are protests and are mad at the protesters for messing up the status quo. All of these conversations have been hard and very draining, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically in some ways.
I'm not an expert on all things related to justice or protests. No one on our staff team is an expert. But we are people who love Jesus and believe that he has the answers that we need. Our job is to do our best to point people towards him and have faith that he will deliver in a really powerful way.
Thanks have calmed down here but that doesn't mean that the conversations are anywhere close to being over. Please pray for us as we engage in these conversations. Pray that we will represent Christ well and that through these conversations, others will see a little more of him too.
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
BACK HOME
Friends, here's the deal: sometimes people disagree. Sometimes we have different opinions on things. Sometimes stuff is said and emotions get involved. When race, racism, privilege, and justice get involved, then things get even harder.
This past week has been a week of really hard conversations. There have been conversations with students who have been the victims of racism and who don't understand how anyone can deny its existence. There have been conversations with students who don't know what their role is supposed to be in all of this and are searching for guidance and answers. There have been conversations with member of the community who don't understand why there are protests and are mad at the protesters for messing up the status quo. All of these conversations have been hard and very draining, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically in some ways.
I'm not an expert on all things related to justice or protests. No one on our staff team is an expert. But we are people who love Jesus and believe that he has the answers that we need. Our job is to do our best to point people towards him and have faith that he will deliver in a really powerful way.
Thanks have calmed down here but that doesn't mean that the conversations are anywhere close to being over. Please pray for us as we engage in these conversations. Pray that we will represent Christ well and that through these conversations, others will see a little more of him too.
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
BACK HOME
When It Rains, It Pours...
Friends!
I'll start with a disclaimer. There is NEVER a good time to have racial tension on campus. In a redeemed world, we would all live in harmony and peace with one another. However, the truth is that we live in a broken world and every now and then, tensions boil over and stuff needs to be addressed. That's what's been happening in Columbia these past few weeks.
That being said, from the standpoint of the Leong house, the timing was especially bad. Here's what's been going on in our lives for the past few days.
Last Thursday: We drive to St. Louis so we can attend staff meetings Friday
Last Friday:
- Staff meetings in Southern Illinois
- We actually leave these meetings early because my older sister T and her family are going to be flying into Kansas City and driving to Columbia to visit us for the weekend
- When we get home, we see that our basement has flooded because the sump pump unhinged
Last Saturday: Good day with the family, including some quality time with my brother-in-law, tearing up carpet
Last Sunday: Another good day with the family. My aunt and her family come in from St. Louis so we could all do dinner together. Many photos are taken and laughs had. All the while, Meg and I are trying to stay fully present while still keeping up to date on what's happening on campus.
Last Monday: President Wolfe resigns, a rally is held, and I'm actually on my way to Memphis for a conference so I can't participate in what's happening. Added to that, Meg texts me and says that Ezra has pink eye to go along with a cold.
Tuesday: I'm still in Memphis, Ezra is still sick, the black students are threatened with violence, and the campus is in a state of min-panic.
Wednesday: Wednesday was a long day...
Thursday: After already having worked 40 hours in the past 3 days, I take the day to be with Ezra while Meg goes on campus to engage with students and help them process.
Friday: Friday a group of prospective staff come into town to learn more about InterVaristy and particularly Mizzou. As we prepare the house to host these folk, I realize that our sump pump has completely failed and I need to buy and reinstall a new one.
Saturday: Saturday is not only another day with prospective staff but also ICF's International Thanksgiving. Roughly 80 international students and community members came together for a traditional Thanksgiving meal. Members of our church provided the food and taught a little bit about the history of Thanksgiving. It was a pretty spectacular time.
Sunday: Meg goes to the clinic and is diagnosed with strep throat.
So, that's been us. Even without everything going on at Mizzou, it would have been a crazy week. Even without everything going on at home, it would have been a crazy week. Thank God, he is our sustainer.
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
BACK HOME
I'll start with a disclaimer. There is NEVER a good time to have racial tension on campus. In a redeemed world, we would all live in harmony and peace with one another. However, the truth is that we live in a broken world and every now and then, tensions boil over and stuff needs to be addressed. That's what's been happening in Columbia these past few weeks.
That being said, from the standpoint of the Leong house, the timing was especially bad. Here's what's been going on in our lives for the past few days.
Last Thursday: We drive to St. Louis so we can attend staff meetings Friday
Last Friday:
- Staff meetings in Southern Illinois
- We actually leave these meetings early because my older sister T and her family are going to be flying into Kansas City and driving to Columbia to visit us for the weekend
- When we get home, we see that our basement has flooded because the sump pump unhinged
Last Saturday: Good day with the family, including some quality time with my brother-in-law, tearing up carpet
Last Sunday: Another good day with the family. My aunt and her family come in from St. Louis so we could all do dinner together. Many photos are taken and laughs had. All the while, Meg and I are trying to stay fully present while still keeping up to date on what's happening on campus.
Last Monday: President Wolfe resigns, a rally is held, and I'm actually on my way to Memphis for a conference so I can't participate in what's happening. Added to that, Meg texts me and says that Ezra has pink eye to go along with a cold.
Tuesday: I'm still in Memphis, Ezra is still sick, the black students are threatened with violence, and the campus is in a state of min-panic.
Wednesday: Wednesday was a long day...
Thursday: After already having worked 40 hours in the past 3 days, I take the day to be with Ezra while Meg goes on campus to engage with students and help them process.
Friday: Friday a group of prospective staff come into town to learn more about InterVaristy and particularly Mizzou. As we prepare the house to host these folk, I realize that our sump pump has completely failed and I need to buy and reinstall a new one.
Saturday: Saturday is not only another day with prospective staff but also ICF's International Thanksgiving. Roughly 80 international students and community members came together for a traditional Thanksgiving meal. Members of our church provided the food and taught a little bit about the history of Thanksgiving. It was a pretty spectacular time.
Sunday: Meg goes to the clinic and is diagnosed with strep throat.
So, that's been us. Even without everything going on at Mizzou, it would have been a crazy week. Even without everything going on at home, it would have been a crazy week. Thank God, he is our sustainer.
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
BACK HOME
How My Hat Cost InterVarsity $650...
Hello, friends!
I wrote in my post of the play-by-play for Wednesday that the students at the Black Culture Center (BCC) were being very vigilant and skeptical of non-Blacks wanting to enter the building. There had been threats of violence made against Black students so this made perfect sense to me. Still, knowing that I was one of the few campus ministers of color on Mizzou's campus, Meg and I agreed that it was worth it for me to try and be there for students.
When I walked up to the door, I was met with skeptical looks, which I was expecting. I introduced myself as "Pastor Adam" and said that I just wanted to check in and see if there was anything that I could do to help or support students. I also told them that I knew Ms. Velma, one of the head administrators for the BCC, and that the guards could get her and I'd be more than happy to talk to her first. I also offered to leave my bag outside the doors to be extra safe.
This seemed to build enough trust to get me in the building but I still needed permission to stay there. One of the students got Ms. Velma and I re-introduced myself.
"Hi, Ms. Velma, I'm Pastor Adam with InterVarsity Christian Fellowships."
"Hm, I don't know that I remember you."
"We've met a few times before. I'm just here seeing if there are ways that I can help."
"... You know what? We have met before. I recognize the hat. Come on in."
Apparently, I'm the campus missionary who wears a hat. =0).
My favorite part about this story is that it was something as simple as me wearing a hat that led to a whole host of other opportunities.
The hat got me permission to stay in the BCC
Permission to stay in the BCC got me access to students
Access to students allowed me ask them about their needs
Asking about their needs led to us buying a lot of food (about $650 for lunch and dinner)
Buying lots of food led to trust being built
Trust being built led to more opportunities for conversations and prayer with students
Friends, at this point, I should say a HUGE thank you to all of our ministry partners who partner with us financially. You are the ones who give us the resources to do things like this so we can bless students better and point them towards Jesus. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
BACK HOME
I wrote in my post of the play-by-play for Wednesday that the students at the Black Culture Center (BCC) were being very vigilant and skeptical of non-Blacks wanting to enter the building. There had been threats of violence made against Black students so this made perfect sense to me. Still, knowing that I was one of the few campus ministers of color on Mizzou's campus, Meg and I agreed that it was worth it for me to try and be there for students.
When I walked up to the door, I was met with skeptical looks, which I was expecting. I introduced myself as "Pastor Adam" and said that I just wanted to check in and see if there was anything that I could do to help or support students. I also told them that I knew Ms. Velma, one of the head administrators for the BCC, and that the guards could get her and I'd be more than happy to talk to her first. I also offered to leave my bag outside the doors to be extra safe.
This seemed to build enough trust to get me in the building but I still needed permission to stay there. One of the students got Ms. Velma and I re-introduced myself.
"Hi, Ms. Velma, I'm Pastor Adam with InterVarsity Christian Fellowships."
"Hm, I don't know that I remember you."
"We've met a few times before. I'm just here seeing if there are ways that I can help."
"... You know what? We have met before. I recognize the hat. Come on in."
Apparently, I'm the campus missionary who wears a hat. =0).
My favorite part about this story is that it was something as simple as me wearing a hat that led to a whole host of other opportunities.
The hat got me permission to stay in the BCC
Permission to stay in the BCC got me access to students
Access to students allowed me ask them about their needs
Asking about their needs led to us buying a lot of food (about $650 for lunch and dinner)
Buying lots of food led to trust being built
Trust being built led to more opportunities for conversations and prayer with students
Friends, at this point, I should say a HUGE thank you to all of our ministry partners who partner with us financially. You are the ones who give us the resources to do things like this so we can bless students better and point them towards Jesus. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
BACK HOME
Wednesday...
Hello, friends!
Back when I was the staff of ACF, Wednesdays were definitely my busy days. I'd start in the morning with the normal admin stuff, move onto meetings with students in the afternoon, and spend the evenings coordinating our Large Group meetings. By Wednesday night, I was pretty beat.
When I transitioned away from ACF this semester, one of the first things that jumped out to me was how much more free time I had on Wednesdays! A lot of times I'm watching Ezra while Megan goes to small group but it's still slower paced than before.
This past Wednesday was definitely a throwback though. Let me run it down for you.
9:30am - Get to campus and head to the Black Culture Center (BCC). Campus is eerily quiet but the BCC is full of life. Black students have designated this as their home base for all operations, including walking to class together for strength in numbers.
9:35am - The doors are locked to the BCC and there are students standing guard, checking out anyone who wants to enter who isn't Black. There have been threats of violence made on their lives, so this makes complete sense and I'm not offended. Thankfully, I'm let in the door.
9:45am - I find a student who looks like she's in charge and I ask her how I can help. I ask particularly what kind of food they have on hand (of course I do) and she tells me that they have water and some snacks but not much else. A plan has been put into motion.
10:00am - Meg and I text and call back and forth, coordinating lunch for students. As the number of students who enter the building grows, so does the number of pizzas we'll need to order.
10:15am - At this point, I'm just trying to have conversations with students, hearing where they are, walking with them to class, and generally trying to bring a calming pastoral presence.
12:00pm - Meg shows up with 30 pizzas and drinks. They are much appreciated, well received, and quickly consumed.
1:00pm - Conversations continue and plans begin to form amongst our staff team about how to provide dinner for students as it becomes clear that they will be staying at the BCC for a while.
4:00pm - Join in a prayer call with our regional staff team, lamenting about what has happened and asking God for wisdom, guidance, and strength. It was a very uplifting time.
5:15pm - Leave to go pick up dinner. The meal for the night included fried rice, orange chicken, beef and broccoli, home baked cookies, and a few more pizzas.
6:00pm - Get back to campus to see that the students have left the BCC to do a rally at the student center. Students from Kansas City, St. Louis, and Jefferson City have joined them. Josephine (our intern) and I let the leaders know that we've brought food begin to set up dinner.
7:00pm - Dinner is served. Honestly, we weren't expecting as many people as were there and as soon as I walked into the rally, I saw that we were going to be short on food. This is where my Asian American hospitality gene kicked into gear and I began to feel great shame. =0). Still, everyone was very appreciative.
8:00pm - Cleanup and do a few interviews for local and campus newspapers. I don't know if any of our stuff was used but I tried to preach the Gospel as much as possible.
8:30pm - Bike home after a long day's work.
Friends, Wednesday was crazy. I've had longer days before in terms of hours. There have been days when I've gone from 6am - 10pm without a break. But this was different. This was special. This was emotionally exhausting. I'm glad that I was able to partake.
I would be remiss if I didn't mention that Wednesday was a team effort. Megan coordinated meals. Matti was working with ACF students. Chris ordered the food in Chinese, probably getting us a better deal. Josephine connected with students. It was a beautiful, long, and tiring day.
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
BACK HOME
Back when I was the staff of ACF, Wednesdays were definitely my busy days. I'd start in the morning with the normal admin stuff, move onto meetings with students in the afternoon, and spend the evenings coordinating our Large Group meetings. By Wednesday night, I was pretty beat.
When I transitioned away from ACF this semester, one of the first things that jumped out to me was how much more free time I had on Wednesdays! A lot of times I'm watching Ezra while Megan goes to small group but it's still slower paced than before.
This past Wednesday was definitely a throwback though. Let me run it down for you.
9:30am - Get to campus and head to the Black Culture Center (BCC). Campus is eerily quiet but the BCC is full of life. Black students have designated this as their home base for all operations, including walking to class together for strength in numbers.
9:35am - The doors are locked to the BCC and there are students standing guard, checking out anyone who wants to enter who isn't Black. There have been threats of violence made on their lives, so this makes complete sense and I'm not offended. Thankfully, I'm let in the door.
9:45am - I find a student who looks like she's in charge and I ask her how I can help. I ask particularly what kind of food they have on hand (of course I do) and she tells me that they have water and some snacks but not much else. A plan has been put into motion.
10:00am - Meg and I text and call back and forth, coordinating lunch for students. As the number of students who enter the building grows, so does the number of pizzas we'll need to order.
10:15am - At this point, I'm just trying to have conversations with students, hearing where they are, walking with them to class, and generally trying to bring a calming pastoral presence.
12:00pm - Meg shows up with 30 pizzas and drinks. They are much appreciated, well received, and quickly consumed.
1:00pm - Conversations continue and plans begin to form amongst our staff team about how to provide dinner for students as it becomes clear that they will be staying at the BCC for a while.
4:00pm - Join in a prayer call with our regional staff team, lamenting about what has happened and asking God for wisdom, guidance, and strength. It was a very uplifting time.
5:15pm - Leave to go pick up dinner. The meal for the night included fried rice, orange chicken, beef and broccoli, home baked cookies, and a few more pizzas.
6:00pm - Get back to campus to see that the students have left the BCC to do a rally at the student center. Students from Kansas City, St. Louis, and Jefferson City have joined them. Josephine (our intern) and I let the leaders know that we've brought food begin to set up dinner.
7:00pm - Dinner is served. Honestly, we weren't expecting as many people as were there and as soon as I walked into the rally, I saw that we were going to be short on food. This is where my Asian American hospitality gene kicked into gear and I began to feel great shame. =0). Still, everyone was very appreciative.
8:00pm - Cleanup and do a few interviews for local and campus newspapers. I don't know if any of our stuff was used but I tried to preach the Gospel as much as possible.
8:30pm - Bike home after a long day's work.
Friends, Wednesday was crazy. I've had longer days before in terms of hours. There have been days when I've gone from 6am - 10pm without a break. But this was different. This was special. This was emotionally exhausting. I'm glad that I was able to partake.
I would be remiss if I didn't mention that Wednesday was a team effort. Megan coordinated meals. Matti was working with ACF students. Chris ordered the food in Chinese, probably getting us a better deal. Josephine connected with students. It was a beautiful, long, and tiring day.
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
BACK HOME
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