Last week, when I went to go pick up Jonah from daycare, the woman who owns the daycare informed me that one of the students from Jonah's class died over the weekend in a pool accident. The student's older brother came to tell Jonah's class about it so everyone knew. Obviously, any death is a tragedy but this one hit especially close to home because it was a friend of Jonah's. I don't think that I had met the kid but I knew the name because Jonah always identified him as one of his friends.
Taking Jonah home from school that day was pretty tough. I wasn't sure of how Jonah would be processing everything. He was just a baby when his great grandmother died. Our pet fish, Fluffy, died last summer but Jonah didn't think too much of it. We had some friends from church who had one of their little ones die last year but Jonah didn't know him well. This was really the first time that someone close to Jonah would die.
As we rode home, Jonah was pretty open in talking about things in a matter of fact way. He wanted to know if each ambulance had his friend in it and had some of the normal questions. I almost lost it when he asked if his friend was going to see his great grandma in heaven and again when he said that he didn't want his friend to go to heaven because he wanted to see him at school. As someone who hadn't cried since 2021, things got really close.
As we rode home, Jonah was pretty open in talking about things in a matter of fact way. He wanted to know if each ambulance had his friend in it and had some of the normal questions. I almost lost it when he asked if his friend was going to see his great grandma in heaven and again when he said that he didn't want his friend to go to heaven because he wanted to see him at school. As someone who hadn't cried since 2021, things got really close.
We finally hit critical mass on Thursday, the next day Jonah was set to go to daycare. He had his first day of preschool the day before so he was crying the entire way to daycare, yelling, "I don't want to go to daycare! I want to go to preschool!" I know at least part of that was because of how much fun he had the day before but I also believe that he was sad about his friend. After dropping him off at daycare (while he was still crying), I couldn't get all the way back to the car before breaking down. It was too much.
On Monday, the daycare had a ceremony to plant a tree in the student's honor. We asked Jonah if he wanted to go but he said that he didn't need to go because the tree was to remember his friend but he already remembered his friend so there was no need to see it. #KidLogicFTW. Yesterday was another tough day a drop off. The whole way there, Jonah cried about not wanting to see the tree. I offered to go in to see the tree with him but he was a no go on that. I dropped him off crying again, then cried myself, the second time in less than a week.
Looking at it now, the thing that evokes so much emotion in me is that Jonah is hurting but he isn't sure how to process it. On top of the crying on the way to daycare, he's also ad trouble falling asleep. He's also perfectly fine for a whole bunch of the time. When I pick him up from daycare, he's been in a good mood. It sucks that my boy is hurt and there's nothing I can do to help make it better. I can't bring back his friend...
Friends, if you are the praying sort, please be praying. Pray for the family of the child who died, that God will bring them the comfort they need. Please pray for Megan and me as we try to help Jonah process. Pray for Jonah that he will be able to process his emotions in a healthy way and know that he is loved.
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
PS: I thought about posting some photos of Jonah and his friend here but decided against it as a way of respecting the child and his family. I don't know them and don't know if they want a photo of their kiddo out in the world. Just know that he and Jonah looked like they were having fun. =0)
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