Hello, friends!
A few days ago, I had to break up a fight in our home. There was wailing, crying, and the gnashing of teeth. I don't think there was any hitting but there was definitely some tugging and probably some pushing. Thankfully, no one got hurt and no one got put in time out.
What was the cause of this fight? Was someone not sharing toys? Perhaps a name was called or someone was picking on someone else. Maybe somebody ate someone else's food!
Nope. Our two older kids were fighting over who was going to be the most helpful.
The story goes like this. Jonah needed a change of clothes. Megan asked Ezra to go get some new jammies out of the dresser drawer in our room. Thaliea, wanting to help, runs past him into the room to get the jammies. Ezra then tries to grab the jammies out of her hands but she holds on. Now they're both yelling and pulling on the Jammies. Ezra is yelling, "MAMA ASKED ME TO DO IT! YOU HAVE TO LET ME DO IT!" Thaliea's retort is, "I WANT TO HELP TOO! I NEVER GET TO HELP!" Welcome to life with two kids who love to help. =0).
Don't get me wrong. We LOVE that the kids love being helpful. Some folk told us that the jump from 2 kids to 3 kids wouldn't be as hard as the jump from 1 kid to 2 because the older one will be able to help and function on his own in some ways. Thus far, that has proven true and since Thaliea loves doing what she sees her big brother doing, she's also been super helpful.
But here's the thing... There's such a thing as being TOO helpful and there's such a thing as your help not actually being helpful at all. When the kids are "helping" sometimes tasks take longer than they should. Sometimes mistakes are made along the way. Sometimes there are fights or tantrums because the kids want to help in a certain way and it has to be done that way.
I've said before that being a father has taught me a lot about how God must see us. The idea of helping is exactly what I mean. In the same way that things would go much more efficiently or effectively if Megan or I just did things ourselves, I'm sure that an omnipotent God such as ours could get plenty done if He was riding solo (or rather, in Trinity). And yet, there's something about watching the look of pride and joy develop on your kid's face when they feel like they are contributing. For all the fighting and crying and trouble, there's something beautiful about watching your kids "help." And, if I'm being honest, sometimes they do actually make life easier.
So, in the end, I'm happy for the help. I'm happy for the relationship and connection that I get to build with the kids when we work together on something. I'm happy to clean up whatever messes get made because of some overenthusiastic helping. I'm happy to break up fights that come from a desire to help. I'm happy to be a dad who gets "help" from his kids.
Have an excellent day!
~Adam
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