Competitive Juices

Hello, friends! 

This weekend I had the pleasure of getting together with other men from my church for an in-town Men's retreat.  We went from 7-10 on Friday Night and then 9-1 on Saturday afternoon.  It was a fun time of networking, worship, and a revisioning for what it could look like for men to actually enter into intentional friendships with one another.  I met a lot of great guys and heard a word from Jesus about what next steps might be in terms of getting more involved at church. 

Praise Jesus, the one thing that I was praying wouldn't rear its ugly head stayed home and I was able to make a number of connections.  I, of course, am talking about my hyper-competitiveness.

Friday night was a night devoted to fellowship and the game of choice was washers.  There wasn't any program Friday night, just a washers tournament.  Washers is a simple game.  There is a box with a cup in the middle of it.  You get three points for throwing your washer into the cup and one for getting it into the box.  You and your opponent both throw  4 washers and at the end of the round, whoever had more points in that round scores based on net points (i.e. if you got 6 points and I got 4, your score for that round would be 2).  The first to 11 wins.  First everyone played 2 random matches then the top 16 scores moved on to the tournament.  The funny thing is that I actually won the tournament and now have a giant washer sitting in my living room as a trophy.  =0). 

Here's the thing about being hyper-competitive.  I believe there are those who primarily love to win and those who primarily hate to lose.  Folk who love to win are more of the trash-talking type.  They are the ones who will let everyone know who is the champ and tend to be the louder of the two types.  On the other hand are the folk who hate to lose.  These are the ones who spend most the their time talking to themselves, trying to psych themselves up and always getting down on themselves when mistakes are made.  I believe that everyone who is hyper-competitive has both of these characteristics but one usually comes out more strongly than the other. 

Me?  I am definitely someone who hates to lose.  I'm the guy who is always analyzing my game, trying to get better so I never have to suffer another loss again.  If I wasn't perfect and we lose, it was my fault.  It usually leads to me getting into a bit of a mood when I am competing.  I won't talk a lot of trash but I won't acknowledge anyone much either. 

You can see how this would be a problem at a men's retreat where the primary focus is fellowship and getting to know other guys, right?  Happy, conversational, gregarious Adam very well could have turned into bitter, talks-to-himself, brooding Adam very quickly.  Thankfully, by the grace of God, I was able to keep that in check and stay involved in conversation with guys even as I was lamenting every missed shot and mentally berating myself for poor form.  Some of it still came out (one common comment from the men was that I "looked intense and focused" as I was throwing) but overall I'd like to think that I acquitted myself well. 

So, friends, there you have it.  That is my confession.  I am a highly competitive person and sometimes it makes it hard for me to make friends.  But you probably already knew that, right?  Pray for me.  =0).

Have an excellent day!

~Adam